Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin
by Phoenix II
Summary: Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin
1. Pippin and the Cow

Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pippin, but I might own some of the things that happen to him.  
  
Summary: Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin.  
  
~*~  
  
Pippin Took, Thain of the Shire, sat on his throne in the Great Smiles. He was bored out of his wits. Suddenly a small Took who acted as the doorman came in and told him that Master Meriadoc had arrived with a present for you."  
  
"Hurrah!" shouted Pippin. "Show him in, Brandobras, show him in!" Brandobras the doorman exited. Merry entered soon after with a cow.  
  
"Hiya Pip!" said the Master of Buckland. "How's the Thainship thing goin'?" The cow mooed.  
  
"It's going okay," said Pippin, startled by the moo. "But it is indeed boring. Have you heard anything from Aragorn?" The cow mooed again.  
  
"No," said Merry, "but I did get a postcard from Eomer the other day, saying he'd like to see us whenever it's convenient." Pippin nodded, and the cow mooed again.  
  
"I'd like to see how Faramir runs the Shire while I take a vacation," Pippin mused, allowing the cow to moo again.  
  
"Could you tell him that we could be there next month?" he asked Merry.  
  
"I already did," said his friend. Pippin grinned. The cow mooed once more. Pippin glared at it. It mooed.  
  
"Well, I'd best be going," said Merry, heading for the door. "Nice seeing you Pip." Then he was gone, and Pippin was left with the cow. It mooed.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Pippin yelled. The cow looked at him for a minute, then mooed. Pippin screamed ("AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGHHH!"), drew his sword, ran at the cow and cut its head off. It clattered to the ground.  
  
"Moo?" asked the head. Pippin went ballistic. Soon the throne room, the sword, and the Pippin were covered in blood. There were small minute pieces of cow scattered here and there. A hoof was embedded in the roof.  
  
"Moo?" asked the head again. Pippin took his sword and diced the head into pieces the size of his cat's little claw. It mooed again. Pippin fell down to the ground and started to cry. Then the door sprang open and in stepped...SMEAGOL!!  
  
"Look, my preciouss, fresh meatses!" This was the last straw. Pippin looked up, saw Smeagol, dropped his sword on the ground and ran out the door screaming.  
  
Smeagol looked at the running form of the schizophrenic hobbit. He then turned to eat the cow meat in the room.  
  
"Moo?" it said.  
  
END! 


	2. Pippin and the dancing Orc

Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer: I own this chapter's odd thing  
  
Summary: Passing by Isengard on their way to Edoras, Merry and Pippin come across something very odd.  
  
~*~  
  
Merry Brandybuck and a questionably sane Pippin Took were on their way to visit Eomer in Edoras. They had chosen a path that would take them past Isengard so that they would have a chance to chat with their old pal Treebeard.  
  
They were about halfway to the gate when all of a sudden a hole opened up in the ground and an orc popped out.  
  
"AAAHHHHH!!" screamed Merry and Pippin, for even though it was an orc, it was also very strangely attired. It wore bracelets, yellow hippie shirts and bells on its ankles. In its hands it held a bouquet of daisies and a bottle of whiskey. This more than the fact that it was an orc was the cause of the screaming.  
  
"Peace out, homies!!" said the orc, and proceeded to dance an Irish jig.  
  
"AAAHHHHH!!" screamed Pippin, because once the orc was finished with its jig it sauntered up to Pippin.  
  
"Here ya go, bro! Enjoy!" said the orc, handing Pippin the flowers and the whiskey before disappearing into a hole similar to the one he'd come out of.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" screamed Pippin, spurring his pony on so fast that he arrived in Edoras three days before Merry. Upon arrival, he handed off the daisies to some random Rohanian girl ("Thanks, Master Hoblyta!"), went to the rooms prepared for him and Merry by Eomer King and chugged the whiskey.  
  
Merry found him passed out on the bed when he arrived.  
  
"Poor crazy Pip," he muttered, before going to have Dinner with the King. 


	3. Pippin and MiddleEarth McDonalds

Some Very Odd Things Happen to Pippin Chapter Three  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pippin or McDonalds, but the rest is mine! Muahahaha!  
  
Summary: Pippin visits a McDonalds in Rohan.  
  
~*~  
  
While in Edoras, Pippin got hungry. While the King's cooks didn't schedule meals around the hobbit philosophy of seven meals a day, they did direct him to a place where he could get a nice meal. Middle-Earth McDonalds.  
  
The first problem occurred when Pippin entered the restaurant. The counter was too big for him. He had to stand on a chair to order.  
  
"Welcome to Edoras Middle-Earth McDonalds," said the cashier. "May I take your order, Master Hoblyta?"  
  
"Ah, yes," said Pippin, glancing at the menu. "I'll have a double cheeseburger extra-value meal, super-sized, with mushrooms on the burger instead of pickles and onions."  
  
"I am sorry, Master Took, but we don't have any mushrooms."  
  
"But I want mushrooms!" complained Pippin.  
  
"STUPID FAT HOBBIT!! WES DON'TS HAS NO MUSHROOMSES FOR YOU!!!" said the cashier. Pippin did a double take.  
  
"What the hell? Gollum? How did you get a job at McDonalds?" said Pippin, distracted from his quest for mushrooms.  
  
"We asked nicely, preciouss! And nice manager wouldn't turn us out, no preciousss, but she made us take nasty hot, soapy bath and wear pastel clotheses!! Gollum, Gollum!! May I take your order?" asked Gollum.  
  
"I want a double cheeseburger extra-value meal super-sized, with mushrooms instead of pickles and onions.  
  
"You fool of Took!" said Gollum. "I already told you that we don't have any mushroomses." Pippin got mad.  
  
"Damnit Gollum, I want mushrooms!!" Pippin drew his sword. Gollum sighed.  
  
"What will it take for stupid fat hobbit to understand when wes says that we don'ts have any mushroomses!" Pippin cut his head off and wandered back into the freezer to look for himself. He found a basket of mushrooms front and center.  
  
"GAHHH!!" he yelled, going through McDonalds and killing all the employees before making his OWN double cheeseburger extra-value meal super- sized with mushrooms instead of pickles and onions.  
  
Notes: That was odd. Thanks to my brother, you have Chapter Three: Pippin and Middle-Earth McDonalds. 


End file.
